Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
When I started to believe in God, I also became aware of the devil. Before, I never quite got the hang of demons and evil spirits but now I'm pretty certain they exist as well.
And they are speaking to me... Every day.
One time, they said to me "Don't exaggerate! We only come out to play when you least expect it." And another time they said "Why are these people praying for you? There is nothing wrong with you." I do not read the bible anymore because I much rather go to sleep. The devil is strongest when I am in church. It makes me roll my eyes when people are speaking in tongues and especially when someone says anything along the lines of "God loves every one of us".
I would much rather doodle during Alpha than pay attention. When asked for comments about the truth I'd say "I think Jesus is cool but I don't care to find out if he is really God."
I hate to say this but I kind of revel in the Devil's interest in keeping me as his pet. But my brain is telling me that I need help to drive it away. To this end, I am seeking your thoughts and prayers to help save me. Thank you, my friends!
xx
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I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; my God, in Him I will trust.” Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the perilous pestilence. He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
Psalm 91:2–4
Thanks ah yi. I needed that. I dunno what happened. I was doing fine when I just came back to London. But one night after alpha, I told my elder about my sleeping disorder and he asked me if I got any charm or talisman on me and i remember this feng sui red packet in my wallet that I have been carrying around with me for almost 5/ 6 years so I told him about it and he took it away, said a prayer and threw it into the dustbin. After that, I became like this. I started to hear stuff in my head and I get really very scared when the church pray in tongues. As in, my heart beat so fast like I'm gonna get a seizure. And 2 nights ago I had another nightmare about being possessed and I called out for Jesus but when I woke up I couldn't tell if I dreamt it or it really happened. It's like all of a sudden, I am aware of that God has abandoned me just as I begin to be aware of evil spirits around me. Now I wish I didn't get involved in christianity cos I won't have to deal with this evil feeling and sometimes when I'm at church or when I'm at Alpha, I think of stuff like "Oh at least the devil is interested in me. I wonder if I'm his special pet." I know...it all sounds so freaky but I dunno what to do. :(
Patty, fear not for God NEVER leaves you nor foresake you. Memorise Psalm 91:2-4 and proclaim it everytime you feel fearful. it is one thing to believe in your heart but another to proclaim it out loud with your mouth. Sometimes as our walk gets closer and closer with God, the devil feels threatened and comes up with these sorta tricks to make you distant yourself from God. Don't fall into his trap, stay strong and look towards Jesus! Pray for God to guard your heart and your mind every waking moment and to remove every negative thought in your mind and grant you his shalom peace everytime you feel threatened. Don't be intimidated by the devil, he is already defeated. We cannot but He is able and He NEVER fails. Just talk to our Abba Father in your own way whenever you need Him. We will be keeping you in prayers. xxxxxxxxxxxxx
I'm feeling a lot better now. There's a battle going on but I have decided to honor God and be devoted to Him. I will ask Him to give me strength to fight the demons in my life. I am going to make a conscious effort to love my church that same way Jesus loves me. And I'm sure good will triumph over evil. xx
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