Matthew 14:31

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

Dearest Jesus,

Thank you for Ruth and my IheartChina christian friends for being there for me through these troubled times. After church last Sunday, I made Ruth cry. She said that she really wants me to know you better and receive the joy that you bring.

Prior to that moment, I went to church for the service, as usual. I did feel very strongly about the message that day; it was about FAITH.

Three areas where God may be ignored:
1. In my mind.
Unlike you and how you managed to get with God with your faith, doubts cripple me and takes God out of my mind.

2. In my life.
I am a practical atheist. I believe in some things but not all things. I love my possessions and I believe that the more I have, the happier I will become. I believe that there is a God but I do not believe that He is interested in all aspects of my life i.e. how I earn money, who I have sex with.

3. In my heart.
I may believe in God but I do not want Him to be in charge of my life. All it takes is one tiny bit of rebellion and it corrupts my heart.

With all these odds against God, how can I overcome them and have faith and stop doubting?

Back to the flat. Ruth enjoyed the service very much too. Her faith in you is strong. She wanted to know how I felt. I said nonchalantly, "Oh yea...message was for me." and went on browsing the internet. Bless Ruth for being intuitive and caring. She truly believes in God and though I have been saying that I am "ok", she says "Why just be ok when you can have more?" She says I have to make a decision about you and ask myself if I want to surrender my life to you.

Maybe it is time to surrender. Please Jesus, take me and do whatever you want with me.

Love,
P
xxxxx