John 5:6

When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, Do you want to get well?

Hi Jesus!

Thanks for the wonderful speech today.

Why did you ask the invalid at the pool in Bathesda, if he wanted to get well? Surely anyone who has been invalid for 38 years would want to get well, right? On second thought, maybe it is easier to remain an invalid. Afterall, anyone who has lived with a disability for over 38 years, must already be used to its conditions. Perhaps, they aren't sure about having to get back into society after being disabled for so long. Would it actually mean they'll have to find a job once they get well? Such a daunting prospect, if you ask me.

For someone who hasn't yet given my life to God completely, I feel my situation very much similiar to that of the Bathesda invalid. I feel desperate, devoid of joy and just waiting in darkness for someone to help me into the miracle pool to be healed. But you know me (and you know my lack of faith), the same way you knew that invalid. The only difference is, the invalid really wanted to be healed.

But, the question remains, "do I want to be healed/ saved"?
1) No. I'm used to my wretched life.
2) No. I'm afraid of the unknown and my new responsibilities once I am healed/ saved.
or
3) Yes!! I want new strength and completion. I want to get up and walk tall. I want to be set free!

I know what the answer should be but up till now I still hesitate to say it. Please talk to me, Jesus. The same way you spoke to the invalid. Please see me as an individual and not as a crowd. And please bring change in my life. Let today be the day I stop waiting and just get up to walk. I pray for healing and salvation. Jesus, I don't want to wait anymore.

Have a wonderful week ahead.

Lots of love
P
xoxo